Pete
Pete studied under the tutelage of the semi-great Chet Boyardee (pronounced boy-YARD-ee...3rd cousin, once removed, of chef boyardee). Pete’s pasta making skills are second to almost everyone. He was ousted from Italy for putting pineapple on a pizza. After 14 years at Pete’s, he has taught himself to multitask by inefficiently doing one thing at a time.
Ryan
Ryan took a 3 month course, at Hamburger University, for nearly 4 years! He was coddled by Mr. McDonald (I think his name was Ron) until they asked him to leave when he couldn’t master the art of the balloon poodle. After 12 years of Pete’s training, he can blow up a rubber glove and flip you off with it!
Don
Don learned his ways at a bowling alley, where he was the new guy for 7 years. He mastered the art of spraying the funky smell out of the bowling shoes. Now, he sprays the funky smell out of Pete’s....and he’s still the new guy after 5 years. He once drank a Busch Latte out of Pete’s belly button at his job interview.